A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his moms bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, I need a man, I need a man!

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!

Little Johnny and his friend Little George walk in the woods and see a naked girl. Little George says, Dont look at the naked girl because my dad said that if you look at naked girls, you will turn into stone. Little Johnny said, Too late. Im already getting hard.

Little Johnnys kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

Yes, said the policeman. The detectives want him very badly.

So Little Johnny asked, Why didnt you keep him when you took his picture?

Little Johnny brought a box wrapped with a red ribbon, to school, as a present for his teacher. He handed it to her. She started to guess what was inside. Chocolates? she asked.

Nope.

A Cake? Johnny shook his head No. Then the teacher noticed some liquid dripping from the corner of the box. She caught a few drops on her finger, put the finger in her mouth, then said, Ah, I know-dill pickles.

No, Johnny said, its a puppy.

Little Johnny said to his aunt Tess, My God, youre ugly, arent you!

His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen.

You naughty boy! she screamed, How can you say to your aunt that shes ugly! You go right in and apologize to her! Tell her youre sorry!

Little Johnny entered the living room, walked over to his aunt and said, Aunt Tess, I am sorry youre so ugly.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.



She quickly turned and asked, Whats so funny Bobby?

Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.

Get out of my classroom, she yells, I dont want to see you for three days!



The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.

Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, Whats so funny Billy?



Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters.

Again she yells, Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him – I dont want to see you for three weeks!



Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.



And where do you think you are going? she asks.



Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!

Little Johnny sat playing in the garden.

When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm.

She turned pale. No, Johnny! Stop! Thats horrible! You cant eat worms!

Trying to convince him further, Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm.

No, she isnt, said Johnny.

Why not?

Because I ate her first!

Little Johnny and his dad went shopping at the grocery store. Walking down an aisle, Johnny asked his dad if he could have a box of Lucky Charms.

His dad said, Well, Johnny, can you touch your asshole with your dick?

Johnny said, No!!

Johnnys dad said, Well, theres your answer.

Later, Johnny asked if he could have Spagettios.

His dad, again, said, Can you touch your asshole with your dick?

Johnny said,No!!

His dad said, Well, theres your answer.

At the end of the shopping trip, Johnnys dad felt bad about how he had talked to Johnny, so he bought him an instant lottery ticket.

Johnny scratched the ticket and found that he won $1,000!!!

His dad said,Hey, Johnny, you gonna share the money with your old man?

Johnny asked,Dad, can you touch your asshole with your dick?

Johnnys dad said,As a matter of fact, I can!

Johnny said,GOOD, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!

A
teacher asks her class, If there are 5 birds sitting
on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will
be left? She calls on little Johnny.
None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.
The teacher replies, The correct answer is 4, but
I like your thinking. Then Little Johnny says, I
have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting
on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking
the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second
is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which
one is married?
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, Well
I suppose the one thats gobbled down the top and
sucked the cone.
The correct answer is the one with the wedding
ring on…but I like your thinking.

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night,
in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he
peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little
Johnny exclaims Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?

Daddy, relieved that Johnnys not asking more uncomfortable questions, and
seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and
daddy starts going to town.

Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out Hang on
tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked
off!