As sex education is being taught at a younger age these days little Johnny is in class one day when the teacher begins the days sex lesson. Todays letter is the letter p and the word is penis.

Little Johnny can hardly contain himself and blurts out, I know what that is! I know! I know!! My daddy has two of them!

He has a little one he goes pee with…and a great big one he brushes the baby sitters teeth with!

Jonny and Tommy where hot one summers day.

The boys decided to go swimming. They went to the public pool.

Soon the lifeguard calls them over. She says, Ive been watching you two. You will have to leave now. But why?

For peeing in the pool.

Well, but everyone does that. the boys replied in unison.

Not from the diving board, they dont!

Little Jane was sitting in her red wagon with her dads fireman hat on, and her father walked by and said man that sure is a fine fire engine you have there.. all you need is a hose, a siren and a motor, and it would be perfect.

The next day her father walks by her again and now she has her hose strapped to the side, a dog tied to the front, and a cat tied to the back.

He says, Wow! That really looks like a fire engine now, but I think you were also suppose to tie the cat in the front and she says Then how would I have a siren?

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.

The second boy says, Thats nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.

Little Johnny says, I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon.and it takes eight people to collect all the money!

It was December 31st and Little Johnnys dad had just come back from his business trip When he got home he said Little Johnny did you get to see Santa this year and Little Johnny goes Yes, He was lying on top of mommy yelling HO HO HO

A teacher asks her class, If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left? She calls on little Johnny. None, they all fly away with the first gunshot. The teacher replies, The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking. Then Little Johnny says, I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married? The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, Well I suppose the one thats gobbled down the top and sucked the cone. The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on… but I like your thinking.

Little Johnny ran into the house one day and exclaimed to his mother:Mom! I found a way to clean out the outhouse hole so that we dont have to dig another one. Said Little JohnnyWhy thats great Little Johnny. How are you going to do it? Said MomIts simple really. I just put three sticks of dynamite in the hole and lit the fuse! Everything will get blown out and we wont have to dig another hole this year! Beamed Little Johnny.Oh Jesus Christ help us! Youre father is in there! Shouted MomAbout that time there was a terrible boom and crap went flying everywhere! Little Johnny and Mom went running outside to check if his Dad had survived.When they got to where the outhouse USED to be, they heard a moaning sound from up in a tree. They looked up and lo and behold, there was Little Johnnys Dad lying across a limb about 30 feet up.When he saw them looking up at him, Little Johnnys Dad became frantic and started screaming: Run for your lives! For Gods sake RUN!I might let another one!

Little Willie had a gambling problem. Hed bet on anything. One day, Willies father consulted his teacher.

The teacher said. Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie a real lesson. Well trap him into a big wager that hell lose.

Willies father agreed to cooperate with the plan.

The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers with the other children, and she said, Willie, I want you to remain after class.

When the others had left the classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could say a word, he said, Dont say it, Miss Brown; I know what youre going to say, but youre a liar!

Willie! the startled teacher said. What are you talking about.

Your a fake! Willie continued.How can I believe anything you tell me? Youve got this blond hair on top, but Ive seen your bush and its pitch black!

Trying to keep her cool, the teacher said, Willie that isnt true.

Ill bet a dollar it is ! Willie challenged.

The teacher saw her chance to teach Willie his lesson.Make it five dollars and you have a bet, she said.

Youre on! Willie whipped out a five dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, Miss Brown. dropped her panties, spread her legs, and showed Willie that her pubic hair was as blond as the hair on top of her head.

Willie hung his head. You win, he said, handing her the fiver. Miss. Brown couldnt wait for him to leave so she could get to a phone to call his father. She reported what had happened. Mr. Gaines, she said, I think weve finally taught him his lesson.

The hell we have, the father muttered. This morning Willie bet me ten dollars that hed see your pussy before the day was over.

Theres a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy, Little Johnny.

The teacher asks Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Little Johnny says, Im not a Bush fan.

The teacher says, Why arent you a Bush fan?

Little Johnny says, Im a John F. Kerry fan.

The teacher asks why hes a Kerry fan, and Little Johnny says, Well, my moms a Kerry fan, and my Dads a Kerry fan, so Im a Kerry fan!

The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, What if your Mom was a moron, and youre dad was an idiot… what would that make you?

Little Johnny says, Well, that would make me a Bush fan.

Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.

Youre not allowed to pee in the pool, said the lifeguard. Im going to report you.

But everyone pees in the pool, said Little Johnny.

Maybe, said the lifeguard, but not from the diving board!