Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton
Adult Bookstore

Saddam Hussain approached God and asked him When will peace return to my country ? God answered
You can never see peace in your country during your life timeSaddam wept bitterly and walked away.

Nawaz Sharif approached God
When can I see a united Pakistan (with Kashmir) ?God said
You can never annex Kashmir during your life timeSharif wept bitterly and walked away.

Next our Laloo Prasad Yadav approached God When will Bihar become a civilized state ?
God wept bitterly and said
I can never see that happening even during MY life time

What do Tommy Lee and Saddam Hussein have in common?

Theyre both well hung!

(A JakesJokes.com original…)

Americans and Russians were competing who would go to the moon and build more on it. The minister comes to the American president: Mister President, the Russians have already launched their spaceship!
President: Yes, yes, let them! A few days later: Mister President, the Russians have already landed on the moon!
President: Yes, yes, calm down! In a week: Mister President, its the Russians, the started painting the moon red!
President: Thats fine, just fine! In a month: Mister President, the Russians have painted half the moon red, wed better do something too!!
President: No, no, dont worry! In two months: Mister President, the Russians have finished painting the moon, the whole moon is red now!!
President: Thats great, now send our spaceship up there to write Coca-Cola on it!

What Other Musical Instrument Does Bill Clinton Play besides the saxaphone?



The Hore-Monica!

Whoops! Never Seat Your Husbands Mistresses Next To One Another
Nothing But the Best When the Taxpayers Picking Up the Tab
Arranging Hors doeuvres So They Subliminally Spell Divorce Me
What To Do When Your Husbands Mistress Arrives in the Same Dress As You
Roger Clinton: An Ideal Coffee Table
How To Keep Willie Nelson Off Your Roof
What Sort Of Drinking Game Do You Have In Mind, Mr. Yeltsin?
How to Make My Famous If-I-Cant-Have-You-No-One-Can PoisonMeatloaf
How I Plan to Deport Martha Stewart
When Entertaining Chinese Dignitaries, Always Bow First to The One Whos Given You the Most Cash

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Its irrelevant; they still dont know theyre in the dark!

Bill Clinton was out jogging one morning, when he came to an apartment complex.

Sitting outside on the steps was a cute little girl with a big box.

As Bill jogged closer, he could see that the box was full of adorable puppies.

He went to the little girl and said Awww…those are the cutest puppies

The little girl said These arent puppies. I call them Democrats.

Bill thought this was really sweet and said Well, thats so sweet!

A few days later, Hillary was jogging with Bill when they came to the same building with the little girl outside.

The girl was still there with the box. Bill nudged Hillary and said Watch this.

He asked the little girl, What have you got there? Puppies?

The little girl shook her head and said No, not puppies, I call them Republicans.

Bill was shocked. He said But I thought you said they were Democrats???

The little girl said Well, they were…but now theyve got their eyes open!!

George w. Bush is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, Whats in the box kid?

The little boy says, Kittens, theyre brand new kittens.

George W. laughs and says, What kind of kittens are they?

Republicans, the child says.

Oh thats cute, George W. says and he runs off.

A couple of days later George is running with his buddy Dick Cheney and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.

George W. says to Dick, You gotta check this out and they both jog over to the boy with the box. George W. says, Look in the box Dick, isnt that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Dick what kind of kittens they are.

The boy replies, Theyre Democrats.

Whoa!, George W. says, I came by here the other day and you said they were Republicans. Whats up?

Well, the kid says, Their eyes are open now.

In our image processing lab we recently had a chance to
digitize and then re-view some of the Presidential campaign
speeches. Of particular interest was George Bushs famous
Read my lips, No New Taxes speech.

We hired a speech specialist and showed the tape to her over and
over several times. Not only was the tape played back slowly,
but we performed a zoom operation on the (now) Presidents face. As
she read his face for clues, it became painfully obvious to her that
George Bush was saying–Read my lips, No Nude Taxes.

With this subjective information, we called the White House
for an explanation. Reluctantly the White House Staff admitted that
yes, that was correct–The President planned to clothe new taxes
as user fees.