Q: Did you hear that someone threw a bottle of beer at Clinton?
A: Yes, but its ok. It was a Draft and he was able to dodge it.

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing
happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA,
they decided to send it to President Bush.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed
his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a
little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a
thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for
some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual,
those crooks deducted $95.00.

At a recent interview, it seems that Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled.

Interviewer: Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?

Clinton (visibly upset): You leave Hillary out of this!

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

From modernhumorist.com

One Hollywood exec said he wouldnt be surprised if the movie rights to the election of the century were already being negotiated. Its got all the ingredients—a mysterious electoral college, weird tabulating procedures, missing ballots, lawsuits—as well as photogenic lead characters.

– Variety

Uncountable

Dir. M. Night Shyamalan

In this supernatural thriller from the creator of The Sixth Sense, an election is not what it seems. Gore (Bruce Willis) is haunted by the memory of losing Palm Beach County by a narrow margin. His son, Al Gore III (Brad Renfro) tells him, I see missing ballots. An election law expert (Samuel L. Jackson) tries to find the truth. Please do not reveal the surprise ending (Gov. Carnahan is dead!).

How the Grinch Stole the Election

Dir. Ron Howard

Ralph Nader (Abe Vigoda) plots to steal away as many votes as possible from the gentle Gores in Goreville (Tennessee). Aided by loyal Cindy Lou-Who (Ani Difranco), Nader-Grinch seeks to confuse the voting populace with his tales of giant corporations and government corruption.

Voter in the Dark

Dir. Lars von Trier

An elderly Florida woman (Bjork) gradually loses her eyesight while casting the deciding Palm Beach vote.

Armageddon 2

Dir. Michael Bay. Prod. Jerry Bruckheimer

Fade in: The terrorist bombing of the USS Cole ($30 million). Cut to: A retirement community in Palm Beach, Florida, which explodes ($25 million). Cut to: Al Gore (Nicolas Cage) and George W. Bush (Ving Rhames) engaged in martial-arts combat atop the U.S. Capitol ($16 million). Fade out to end credits ($11 million).

The Presidential Erection

Writ. Joe Ezterhas

A Miami stripper (Yasmine Bleeth) becomes involved in an erotic triangle with two presidential candidates (David Caruso and Kyle MacLachlan). On the eve of the election, she chooses her allegiance to one, and the other demands a recount.

Untitled Woody Allen Fall 2000 Project

Al Gore (Stanley Tucci), a neurotic presidential candidate, has to take stock of his life when his rival (Sean Penn) wins the election. But a strange fortuneteller (Judy Davis) helps Gore go back in time and teach comical Jewish retirees how to fill out their ballots correctly. Only after Gore falls in love with a beautiful but klutzy ballot designer (Natasha Lyonne) does he find true happiness.

Plan 9 From Palm Beach

Dir. Ed Wood

Aliens, posing as chads, try to take over the democratic process by re-animating the residents of Palm Beach retirement condos. Starring Bela Lugosi as George W. Bush, Tor Johnson as Karl Rove and a piece of aluminum-covered cardboard dangling from a string as Al Gore.

Also in production:

A Few Good Democrats

Dir. Rob Reiner, Prod. Harvey Weinstein

Theres Something About Cheney

Dir. Bobby and Peter Farrelly

Jing Cha Gu Shi (a.k.a. Ballot Attack Fury)

Dir. Jackie Chan

The Infected Boil

Dir. David Cronenberg

The Disputed Hole (a.k.a. The Swinging Chad)

Dir. Phillip Kaufman

This film is rated NC-17.

Q: Why is Bill Clinton the living proof of reincarnation?
A: Because no one could get this stupid in one lifetime.

Bush is my shepherd, I shall be in want. He leadeth me beside the still factories, He maketh me to lie down on park benches, He restoreth my doubts about the Republican party, He guideth me onto the paths of unemployment for the partys sake. I do fear the evildoers, for thou talkst about them constantly. Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy deficit spending They do discomfort me. Thou anointeth me with never-ending debt, And my savings and assets shall soon be gone. Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me, And my jobless children shall dwell in my basement forever.

Many years after Bill Clinton had been President of the United States a famous biographer was going to write Bills life story.

During the course of his interview he asked Bill, What was your best and your worst decision during the Presidency.



Bill rolled his eyes back in deep thought and then said, Monica Lewinski! Id have to say Monica was my best and my worst decision.



How could that be, Bill?, asked the surprised biographer.



Bill smiled and then shook his head, Id have to say she was both my best and my worst decision for the same reason.



Thats odd. What was the reason for that?, said the biographer.



Bill squirmed in his chair and answered, Monica had a big mouth.

Q: Why did the Clintons switch from MCI to AT&T?
A: They didnt have enough friends left to make a calling circle.