Q: If The Clintons were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents?
A: Possibly, Bill might have made Jethros acquaintance in the 6th grade.

What do Bill and Ross Perot have in common?

They both heard a giant sucking sound!

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had??

An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.

Dick Cheney, President Bush and his father areflying on Air Force One. Dick looks at Dubya, chuckles and says, "You know, I couldthrow a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Dubya shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." George Bush Senior says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." The pilot rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

It seems Miss Lewinsky recorded some of her conversations with Clinton.
In a transcript just released Bill asked Miss Lewinsky Do you know the
difference between Lunch and Oral Sex?

Miss Lewinsky replied No, I dont.

Bill then said Great, lets do lunch!

Youve ever referred to someone as my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend.

Impeach Clinton!
And her husband, too!

You fall off the floor quite often
The whole bar says Hi when you come in …
Hangovers have become an alternative lifestyle
Bill & Hillary Clinton are starting to make sense
You lose most of the arguments with inanimate objects
You have a Reserved Parking space at your liquor store
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
You dont recognize people, unless seen through bottom of glass
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
You think the 4 Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol & Women

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, Ive got another dress for you to clean.

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, Come again?

No, says Monica. Mustard.

Lorena Bobbit virus:
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Tim Allen virus:
Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact

Woody Allen virus:
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Saddam Hussein virus:
Wont let you into any of your programs

Tonya Harding virus:
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

George Michael virus:
Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup

Joey Buttafuoco virus:
Only attacks minor files. Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card