You know you married a redneck when she fills out her family reunion name tag, “Four for a Dollar.”

You might be a redneck if you sell your car for gas money.

You might be a redneck if…

Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.

The directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.

You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.

Q. How do Rednecks engage in oral sex?

A. They go to opposite ends of the trailer, and shout **** you at each other.

You might be a redneck if…
Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

Your idea of heaven involves two shotguns and a keg of beer.

You picket your horses on your lawn so you wont have to mow it.

Youre wearing a camoflauge jacket and dipping in your drivers license pic.

You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan.

Warp drive describes the condition of your car.

Your smoke detector doubles as your dinner bell.

It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Bubba is a few credits short and wont be able to graduate tonight.

Well now, Bubba was the starting right guard for Coxs football team, and when the student body heard that he wasnt going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, Give Bubba another chance, give Bubba another chance!

Pat Dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give Bubba another chance. Bubba is told that he will be given a One Question math test and if he passes, he can graduate.

The question is, What is 2 plus 3? Bubba thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, I have it! The answer is 5!

There is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire Cox High School football team jumps up and begins to chant, Give Bubba one more chance. Give Bubba one more Chance!

You might be a redneck if…
You haul more than U-Haul.

You might be a redneck if…
You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.