You might be a redneck if the most common phrase in your house is, “Someone go jiggle the handle.”

You might be a redneck if…
You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

A hillbilly was going to send his boy to school and was discussing with the principal what courses he should take.

The principal was talking about math courses and suggested he would probably later on take geometry and trigonometry.

The hillbilly heard this and said Great! Be sure and give him lots of that there triggernometry! Hes got to be the worst shot with a rifle of anybody I have ever seen

How do rednecks in Kentucky have four play?

Sis are you awake?

Your house has a kickstand.

You drive around a parking lot for fun.

Your girlfriend has ever called YOUR parents Ma and Pa.

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

Benign – What you be, after you be eight.

Artery – The study of paintings

Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria

Barium – what doctors do when patients die

Cesarean section – a neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan – searching for kitty

Cauterize – made eye contact with her

Colic – a sheep dog

coma- a punctuation mark

D & C – Where Washington is

Dilate – to live long

Enema – Not a friend

Fester – quicker than someone else

Fibula – a small lie

Genital – a non-Jewish person

GI series – world series of military baseball

Hangnail – what you hang your coat on

Impotent – distinguished, well-known

Labor pain – getting hurt at work

medical staff – a doctors cane

Morbid – a higher offer

Nitrates – cheaper than day rates

Node – I knew it

Outpatient – a person who has fainted

Pap Smear – A fatherhood test

Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative – a letter carrier

Recovery room – place to do upholstery

Rectum – darn near killed him

Secretion – hiding something

Seizure – a Roman emperor

Tablet – a small table

Terminal Illness – getting sick at the airport

Tumor – one plus one more

Urine – opposite of youre out

Varicose – nearby / close by

You might be a redneck if…
You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You might be a redneck if…
You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.