You might be a redneck if…
You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.

Youve ever told the local sheriff that you smell a pig and he replies, I knew I should have taken a shower after I slopped the hogs today.

Your idea of a luxury car is one that has the white fur covered seats in it.

You think the internet is a new fishing tool.

While vacationing in the hills of Arkansas, the big city man discovered he had no writing paper at all for his personal correspondence.

He went into the small town near-by and found only an old-fashioned country store. Behind the counter was a really nice looking young lass, quite obviously a local farm girl.

He asked, Do you keep stationery?

Well, she giggled, I can…until I have an orgasm, then I just go plain wild and crazy!

You might be a redneck if…
Youre moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".

Your biggest ambition in live is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs round over yonder, backah Bubbas barn…

You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

Youve been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the red neck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.



After the trial, the brother went to the red necks house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.



The red neck replied that it wasnt easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him go.

You know youre a redneck if youre part of the KKK, but you cant spell it.

You might be a redneck if…
You bring your dog to work with you.

Youre a redneck if…

-You have more fingers than you do teeth
-You cut your grass and find a car
-You consider Dennys a Fancy Resturant
-Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors
-Your age is higher than your I.Q.
-Your favorite pickup line is Does this look infected to you?

-You ask your wife weather the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies Its a gummy bear.

-You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up.
-You say Watch this everytime before you goto the hospital.
-Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.

Q: What does a red neck call the phone company?

A: Taco Bell!