These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

193. Arrange your pillows and blankets every night to make it look like you are asleep. Do this for three weeks. Buy a cantalope and a knife. Stick the knife in the cantalope. Lay it on the pillow where your head should be.

17. If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy

Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms–so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of Virginina to party with some friends.

They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didnt make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didnt have a spare. They couldnt fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus.

Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. Cool, they thought, this is going to be an easy final. They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

171. Talk to your roommate but dont let any sound come out. Get mad at him/her for not listening to you.

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher hed found a cat, but it was dead. How do you know that the cat was dead? she asked her pupil.
Because I pissed in its ear and it didnt move, answered the child innocently.
You did WHAT ? ! ? the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
You know, explained the boy, I leaned over and went Pssst! and it didnt move.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

182. When you leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, Im watching you.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

93. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate youre going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

112. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommates potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommates potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, He just didnt belong.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

129. Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommates idea. When you and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

139. When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, Oh, youre here! Walk away yelling and complaining.