Using the Force, young Darth could unhook a bra on the other side of the planet.
Could hack into Death Star mainframe to vaporize his violin teachers house.
The power to cause volcanic pimple eruptions on the faces of his mortal enemies.
Could make Obi-Wan Kenobi pee his pants by sneaking in his room and putting his hand in warm water.
Ability to sweet-talk girls into rubbing his helmet.
For a white kid, he did a pretty damn good James Earl Jones impression.
Astounding dodge ball prowess combined with take no prisoners attitude resulted in many a beheaded opponent.
The old Jedi your lunch money is mine trick.
Ability to emit a powerful protective force-field after only one bean burrito.
Won the high school talent show every year by making the vice principal writhe in pain.
Ability to activate Trouser Saber at will.
The uncanny ability to make all the hottest babes believe that through the constant application of love and understanding *they* can change him.
You dont need to see my I.D. You know Im old enough to buy beer.

and Topfive.coms Number 1 Special Power of the Young Darth Vader…

Pasty skin + jet-black wardrobe + intense aura of impending doom = Goth babe magnet!

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@topfive.com http://www.topfive.com/ ]
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Silently weeps if you forget to turn off the music while playing Tetris.
The last sensation felt by anyone borrowing a pen is the quick sting of several tiny Punji sticks.
No one will carpool with him since that ejector seat incident.
He and his girlfriend Natasha keep threatening to make big trouble for Moose and Squirrel.
His twin, who looks just like him except that he wears black, keeps coming in at lunch to booby trap his cubicle.
Always trying to convince you that Yakov Smirnoff is actually funny.
You could swear he used to look just like Sean Connery, but now hes the spitting image of Pierce Brosnan.
I may ask; would you additionally like a packet of oil-fried potato slices, comrade?
His shoe has a setting for either Ring or Vibrate.
She taps that commie pen on her commie desk the same commie way EVERY FRIGGIN DAY!
Last October you helped him ship out 750 boxes of old computer punch cards to addresses all over Florida and the tip he promised you was dump all your stocks.
Suspiciously never complains about the temperature in the office.
He asks you to pull his finger — until it clicks.
and Topfive.coms Number 1 Sign Your Coworker is a Spy…
He introduces himself as Bond… Jame… Er, Finkelmeyer… Junius Finkelmeyer.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]