[Scene of two women sitting in a kitchen arguing.]

Woman One: Its a detergent.

Woman Two: Its a contraceptive.

Woman One: Its a detergent.

Woman Two: Its a contraceptive.

Woman One: Its a detergent.

Woman Two: Its a contraceptive.

Anouncer: Your both right! New Earstide is both a detergent AND a
contraceptive!

[Scene changes to faceless woman doing laundry. Before and
after scenes show clothes coming out of the wash spotless.]

Earstide can get even the toughest stains out! Look how it completely
removes dried in food stains, grass stains, caked in mud, and even blood
stains.

[Charts are now shown.]

But thats not all! Earstide has also shown to be 95 percent effective
contraceptive.
How can Earstide do all these great things? Because Earstide is made
from real protein, and protein gets out protein!

[Scene goes back to kitchen with same two women.]

Woman One: Gee, Id prefer Earstide to filling my body with hormones.

Woman Two: And it gets the sheets so clean…