At a radiator shop (A-1 Radiator)

Best Place in Town to take a Leak

Sign over a gynecologists office

Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

On a Plumbers truck:

We repair what your husband tried to fix.

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:

Dont sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

Pizza shop slogan:

7 days without pizza makes one weak.

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:

Invite us to your next blowout

Door of a plastic surgeons office:

Hello. Can we pick your nose or would you rather do it

At a laundry shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot.

Would that be satisfactory?

At a towing company:

We dont charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an electricians truck

Let us remove your shorts.

In a non-smoking area:

If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

On a maternity room door:

Push. Push. Push.

At an optometrists office:

If you dont see what youre looking for, youve come to the right place.

On a taxidermists window:

We really know our stuff.

In a podiatrists office:

Time wounds all heels.

On a fence:

Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.

At a car dealership:

The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.

Outside a muffler shop:

No appointment necessary. Well hear you coming.

In a veterinarians waiting room:

Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company:

We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you dont, you will be.