Old and New Jokes

Two men walk into their local unemployment office after both being laid-off. The first man approaches the counter and is greeted by a friendly staff member.
Id like to collect unemployment payments please he says.Not a problem sir, the teller asks What was your last profession?I made panty hose he responds.Ok, the staffer says, your check will be $300. Next!The first man steps away from the counter eyeing his check. His friend steps up, Id like to collect unemployment payments pleaseAlright sir, the teller asks and what was your last profession?Diesel Fitter he remarks.Right, thats a specialty occupation, your check will be $800The first man overhears this and jumps in, Hey! How come I get 300 stinkin bucks and he gets 800The teller say professionally Sir, this man had a special skillSpecial Skill my ass! I sew the two halves of the panty hose together and give them to him.The staffer looks betrayed and asks the second man, Sir you said you were a Diesel Fitter.I am! he says, He gives me the panty hose, I put em on me head and say Deezll Fit er!