05
Jul

Doing business on the opposite coast

[Found in an East Coast office of a major computer manufacturer.]

Heres a handy guide for those of you who have to deal with vendors,
customers, or other divisions on the left coast.

East Coast West Coast

absolutely not maybe
yes maybe
action item by Feb 12 for Joe Joes working on the problem
bozo subcontractor
brawl design review
dictator facilitator
do it and do it now can you sign up for this program?
do it right or youre fired Im confident youll get it done
fuck off trust me
follow the spec is there a spec?
get out of my office lets get consensus on this one
hes a jerk hes not signed on to our plan
hes a subordinate hes a team player
Ill cover your ass consider me your resource
ignore him, hes new Im bringing him up to speed
local bar offsite facility
meet me in the parking lot lets take that discussion offline
oh shit thanks for bringing that to my attention
overdesigned robust
punch his lights out constructive confrontation
shut the fuck up thank you for your input
shut up a minute let me share this with you
thats totally incompetent let me build on that point
unemployed consulting
over budget on schedule
under budget we havent started yet
we finished early (no translation available)
were done how do you feel about that?
whats your problem? I certainly understand your feelings
wheres the spec? whats a spec?
wheres the schedule? whats the game plan?
your plan sucks let me share my feelings on this plan

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