Old and New Jokes

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning

for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his

back and gets up for work.


Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, One of these days,

youre gonna fart your guts out!


One Thanksgiving morning, Marthas preparing the turkey and

gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs

and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling

to herself.


Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his

morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the

bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that

Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.


She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when

Bob opens up, pale as a ghost. He says, You were right. You

were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God

and these two fingers I got them back up there again.