If only I had a hammer
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A man is in court for murder and the judge says You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.
Then a voice at the back of the court says, You bastard!
Then the judge continues, you are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer.
Again the voice at the back of the court says, You bastard!
The judge says, Now, we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt of court. Now, what is the problem?
The man at the back of the court replies, Fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!
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