Job Puns

I used to work in an orange juice factory, until I got canned. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me, said I couldnt concentrate. You know, same old boring rind over and over again.I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldnt hack it, so they gave me the axe.I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasnt suited for it. It was a sew-sew job.I used to work in a muffler factory, until I got exhausted.I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldnt cut it.I wanted to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didnt have the thyme.I used to be a deli worker, but I couldnt cut the mustard.I used to be a musician, but I wasnt noteworthy.I used to be a dentist, but I couldnt stand living hand-to-mouth.I used to be a hydroelectric-plant operator, but I got tired of the whole dammed thing.I used to be a math teacher, but I had too many problems.I used to be a teacher, until I found out I had no class.I used to be a doctor, but I didnt have the patients.

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