Kid Things

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX . (poor woman)Things Ive learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.3. A 3-year-olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesnt stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, its already too late.8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.12. Super glue is forever.13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still cant walk on water.14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

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