marrying a non-Jew

The Golds were never very observant. They would mark Yom Kippur by abstaining from ham–if they remembered. But one thing they always told little Billy was: Make sure you marry a nice Jewish girl. Well, Billy Gold grew up much like mom and dad, and one brought home a lovely fiance, but she was definitely not at all Jewish. Billys mother took him aside and told him: Weve always told you one thing: Marry a nice Jewish girl. Billy, expecting this, triumphantly announces: Dont worry, Mom. Patricia has agreed to convert. But nothing molifies the parents: She is a shiksa and will always be a shiksa. The parents dont want to even come to the wedding: they take a month-long cruise that starts the day before the wedding, and for a month after that, they refuse to talk to Billy. Finally, Billys mother cant resist. She comes and visits Billy, walking in in a huff with her copy of the key. To her amazement, Billy is dressed in black and is pouring over books in Hebrew or Aramaic–Billys mother cant tell. She goes into the kitchen and finds two complete sets of dishes. She cant believe her eyes. Finally she turns to Billy: What happened? Billy answers: Patricia told me I should go back to my tradition. The mother shouts: We always told you not to marry a shiksa!

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