Men…..know what they want to be doing five years down the road.

Guys….are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.
Men…..really know how to make you relax.

Guys….really know how to make you laugh.
Men…..read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf.

Guys….read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker.
Men…..make a lot of money before they are 30.

Guys….make a lot of mistakes before they are 30.
Men…..wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces.

Guys….wear high school T-shirts theyve actually owned since high
school.
Men…..think perfume (yours) is a turn-on.

Guys….think sweat (theirs) is a turn-on.
Men…..balance their checkbooks.

Guys….balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy–
twice in a row.
Men…..claim to be feminists but still insist on opening doors,
driving and paying for dinner.

Guys….claim to be feminists because they let YOU open doors, drive
and pay for dinner.
Men…..have an internist, a tailor and an accountant.

Guys….have a barber, a bartender and a mechanic.
Men…..are afraid of becoming their fathers.

Guys….are afraid of becoming men.
Men…..put you on the phone when their mothers call.

Guys….pretend youre not there when their moms call.
Men…..start their own businesses.

Guys….quit their jobs.
Men…..are experts on womens erogenous zones.

Guys….are experts on their own most erogenous zone.
Men…..order wine based on more than the price.

Guys….bring their own beer.
Men…..break up with you by shaking hands and saying theyre sorry you
didnt like the same movies and the sex wasnt very good, but
they hope you can still work together on the Chicago deal.

Guys….break up with you by standing you up, avoiding your calls, and
then, when you finally run into each other, acting as if they
cant quite place you.