Old and New Jokes

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to become romantic again.



Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.



Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.



Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesnt fully appreciate the strained carrots.



Full Name: What you call your child when youre mad at him.



Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though theyre sure youre not raising them right.



Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.



Independent: What we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.



OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.



Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.



Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.



Sterilize: What you do to your first babys pacifier by blowing on it.



Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.