Moronic instructions
On a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of soap:
Directions: use like regular soap.
On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
On packaged Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
Do not turn upside down.
On packaged Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for an iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On childrens cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
On a packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a childs Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
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