Dictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.
¿Por qué el soltero está siempre delgado y el casado gordo?
Porque el soltero al llegar a casa, abre la heladera, dice siempre lo mismo, y se va a la cama. El casado, se va a la cama, dice siempre lo mismo y abre la heladera.
This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a professional smart person by your friends.
You can scroll down for answers. There are 4 questions. They are not that difficult.
1)How do you put an elephant into a refridgerator?
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Answer: Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door.
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2)How do you put a giraffe into a refridgerator?
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Answer: Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
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3)The animals are having an animal meeting. All the animals attend except for one. Which one does not attend?
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Answer:The giraffe. The giraffe is in the refridgerator.
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4)You must cross a crocodile-infested river. How do you manage it?
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Answer:You swim across. All of the animals are attending the animal meeting.
John and Nancy decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their six-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plans into operation. Theres a car being towed from the parking lot, he said. An ambulance just drove by. A few moments passed. Looks like the Smiths have company, he called out, Matt is riding a new bike and the Sanders are having sex.
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. How do you know that? the startled father asked.
Their kid is standing out on the balcony too, his son replied.
What do you call a Jewish American Princesss waterbed?
Lake Placid
What is the prudent thing to do when someone has an epileptic seizure in a hot tub?
Toss in your laundry.
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a basement?
A: A whine cellar
There is possibility to use your own image for the ecard – and people have used it surprisngly lot – I suppose about 5% of people have uploaded their own image and sent realy unique ecard to someone.
And then I came across of this ecard. It is sexy and it is adult – XXX even 🙂 (so it probably should NOT be in this site.
But its so damn hilarious I feel that I must promote it in some way…
Its probably not funny for other people than Estonians, as it is a parody of EMT – who launched their new corporate image and logo not long time ago.
Im not sure if I am getting into trouble by making this card public (either from the card author (I doubt it!) or being sued by the EMT (quite likely!)). Hopefully EMT bosses and lawyers have a sence of humor and enjoy the card also.) It is also a kind of advertising to them… who knows… maybe the card originates from someone working in EMT??? 🙂
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scroll down if you want to see / send this card!
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It contains nudity!
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Some may even say it is hardcore porno!
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But is is not! Softcore maybe? Erotic? Bot not pornographic by my understandings of what is porn and what is not…
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You have been warned!
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Last chance to turn away?
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Still here?
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OK then… click here to look at and to send someone the EMT parody card!
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you cant afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apples new Macs that make you say Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.
Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced gooey)
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User: Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.
GOOFS FOR TITANIC (1997)
Continuity
Jack won his ticket by beating 2 pair with a full house. However, when we first see Jacks hand, he has nothihg that could be made in to a full house, and only draws one card.
Revealing mistakes
A strip of desert is visible between the dock and the Titanic when docked at Southampton.
Anachronisms
Jack claims to have gone ice fishing on Lake Wissota, which wasnt created until five years after the Titanic sank. Jacks claims to have visited the Santa Monica Pier, which did not begin construction until 1916. The pipe frames supporting the third class berths have set-screw speed rail fittings, not developed until 1946.
Continuity
In the scene where Jack is teaching Rose to spit, there is no spit on his chin as he starts to turn around to face the ladies, but by the time he has completed his turn he has some on his chin.
The main characters have lunch in the Palm Court/Verandah on A Deck. These were not used for dining, although passengers could order tea or a small snack. Cal orders lamb with mint sauce for himself and Rose. Lamb was only available for dinner on the ship, while mutton was reserved for
lunch. The lamb was prepared in the D-Deck galley and would not have been served in the Palm Court.
Revealing mistakes
While Jack and Rose are walking on the promenade the day after he rescues her, a small hill with a building on it is visible over Jacks shoulder and above the ship.
Continuity
Jack takes Rose and Mollys arms to go into dinner. They start walking, but in the next shot they are still standing apart.
Factual errors
The worship services held at 10:30 on Sunday April 14th, 1912, in the First Class Dining Room were open to all passengers of the ship.
Anachronisms
Eternal Father Strong To Save is sung during the worship service; the verse that begins Lord, guard and guide the men who fly/ Through the great spaces in the sky was written by Mary C. D. Hamilton in 1915.
Factual errors
During the scene when Rose flies from the ships bow, the sunlight is clearly falling almost exactly straight across the ship from left to right. On the evening of the 14th, the ship would be steaming somewhere between WSW and SW; the lighting in the movie would indicate that the sun is between SSE and SE, when it actually would have been between W and WNW.
Factual errors
Workers in the Titanics engine room had to wear thick protective clothing to shield them from the heat generated by the engines.
Anachronisms
The gauges in the engine room are fitted with sweated tubing fittings, a plumbing technique not available when the ship was constructed. The fittings should have been threaded brass.
Factual errors
There was no door between boiler room 6 and the cargo area (and no access to any but authorized crew). If there had been a door, it would have entered the third cargo area aft, not the one where the Renault was stored.
When Captain Smith enters the wheelhouse, the ships telegraph is set to Full Reverse instead of All Stop.
Factual errors
First Officer Murdoch did not shoot anyone, including himself. It is impossible for voices to echo in the middle of the North Atlantic unless there is a large, flat object like a ship nearby.
