La hija de 12 años se da cuenta de que le habÃa llegado su primera menstruación. Sin saber de qué se trata, se va corriendo en busca de su madre:
¡Mamá, acompáñame al baño, es urgente!
Sin darle importancia, la madre no la toma mucho en cuenta:
Estoy demasiado ocupada, ve donde tu padre.
La niña sale corriendo donde el padre y le repite lo mismo:
¡Papá acompáñame urgente al baño!
El padre tampoco le hace caso:
Espérame un momento, porque estoy leyendo el diario.
La chiquilla, sin otra solución, se va al baño. Se levanta la falda y ve sus partes llenas de sangre; en eso, entra al baño su hermano de 8 años y al ver esta situación corre sorprendido donde su padre:
¡Papá, papá, la MarÃa se cortó el pene!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.
The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the mans car bumper.
Then he yelled, Pull, Nellie, pull.
Benny didnt move.
Then he yelled, Come on, pull Ranger.
Still, Benny didnt move.
Then he yelled really loud, Now pull, Fred, pull hard.
Benny just stood.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
Okay, Benny, pull.
Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.
The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldnt even try.
Posted in Animal |
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Hacienda!
Hacienda who?
Hacienda the story!
Posted in Knock-knock |
Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself.
Posted in Business |
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Posted in Blonde |
Why do redneck farmers wear overalls with a button fly?
Because the livestock can hear a zipper a mile away.
Posted in Ethnic |
What are the job requirements for secretaries at the White House?
They have to know the Presidents zip code.
Posted in Political |
A sixteen year old virgin girl goes to confession.
Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday
Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch?? the priest asked.
Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission
Do you mean like this?? He touches he arm.
Yes father.
Thats no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch
But father he also touched my breasts
You mean like this?? He touches her breasts.
Yes father.
Thats no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.
But father, he took off my clothes.
Like this?? He takes off her clothes.
Yes father.
Thats no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.
But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where.
Like this?? He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where.
Yes father, she says sometime later.
But thats no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.
But father, he has AIDS
THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted in Religious |
Who is General Failure and whys he reading my disk?
Posted in One Liners |
Q: Whats the definition of innocence?
A: A nun, working in a condom factory, thinking shes making little sleeping bags for mice.
Posted in General / Unsorted |