There were three prostitutes living together: a mother, a daughter and a grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down.
How did you do tonight, dear?
asked her mother.
Not too good.
replied the daughter, I only got 20 dollars for a blow job
Wow! said the mother, In my day, we were glad to get 5 dollars for a blow job!
Good God! said the Grandmother, In my day, we were glad to just get something warm in our stomachs!
Did u hear about rosie odonnel? I herd she drowned. really yeah they said they found her face down on Ricky Lake.
What did they call the Chinese prostitute that became pregnant?
– What Went Wong.
A driver, who crashed into the side of a 3000 ton wheat train
and was dragged in his car more than a kilometre before being slammed
into a pylon at the edge of a cliff, fell to his death as he walked
for help.
The Queensland, Australia man, 63, and his female companion, 64, were
driving along the Newell Highway near Moree, in Northwestern New
South Wales, on Wednesday night, police said.
Their car crashed into the side of a fully laden, 600 metre long
train at a level crossing. (I guess that would be harder to miss
than the side of a barn!) The vehicle became wedged between the
second last and last carriages and was dragged sideways beside the
track as the train continued towards Moree, a police spokeswoman
said.
After being carried more than a kilometre and a half they approached
an unfenced bridge with a 10 metre drop, the spokeswoman said.
Moments before they reached the precipice, the car was struck by a
pylon, dislodged from the train and spun several times. When it came
to rest, the pair managed to free themselves from the wreck (I wonder
if it was a Volvo?) with minor bruising and the man set off along the
railway line for help. But he slipped on the bridge and fell to his
death, the spokeswoman said.
The woman was eventually able to raise the alarm and was recovering
in Moree hospital with chest injuries.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes
is that you know when to cringe.
Yo mamas so disgusting she got kicked out of red lobster for bringing her own crabs.
You so poor, last time you had a hot meal was when a rich man farted!
A lot of ethic groups are known for being tight with money.
Other groups are known to drink too much.
Some groups are even known for being people of few words.
Only the Scots however have combined all these traits and thrown in a kilt and bagpipes for good measure.
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never appears to have noticed that you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it!
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?
The mother says, It’s my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings,
she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and
says, Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant –
about 4 months would be my guess.
The mother says, Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left
alone with a man! Have you Darla?
Darla says, No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!
The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out it.
About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, Is there something
wrong out there doctor?
The doctor replies, No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything
like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came
over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!