Wuz de night befo Crismus
An all ober de hood
Everybody wuz sleepin
Day wuz sleepin good.
Everbody wuz sleepin
all tight in they beds
Whilst Thunderbird Wine
Danced in they heads
I was passed out on de flo
Right next to my Ma
When I heard such a fuss
I thinked It must be de law!!
I looked out tru de barz
dat covered my do
Spectin de sherif
with a warrant fo sho!
Now ober de years
Sanny Claws, he be white.
But it lookin like us bros
got a black Sanny dis night
Now what I did see
made me say LAWD Lood at dat!
It was a huge watermellon cadi
pulled by dwarf rats
Faster than a po-lice car
True de air he came
an whupped up on dem warf rats
an called emm by name.
On Leroy, on Kendrick,
On Jontarious Lee, on Falacious
They was a sight to see
He didnt go down no chimbly
-just picked de lock on my do
An I says to myself-
Shit! He done did befo!
He had a big sack
full of presents I spect
With Air Jordans and Fake Gold
to go round my neck.
But he didnt leave any presents
-just started steelin my shit
He got my drugs, my stoled guns
an even my burglars kit!
With his sack on his back
Out de winder he flew
I sho woulda catched em,
but he stole my knife too!
He jumped on dat watermelon cadi
and pulled out a switch
He was gone in a second
dat son-of-a-bitch
I sho hope nex year
a white Sanny we git
Cause de black Sanny Claws
jus aint wuf a shit!!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
You might be a redneck if…
Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
Posted in Redneck |
Why are men and spray paint alike?
One squeeze and theyre all over you.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Dear God,
Please make me more tactful.
By the way, I think Lucifer did a good job of overthrowing you– I admire his courage and strength!
Oh, I also predict he will become more powerful than you sometime in the coming millenium or so!
No hard feelings! I was just speaking the truth of what I felt! See ya around!
*big grin*
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Two fellows have been at the bar now for quite a while, downing several mugs with abandon. They both look at the far end of the bar, in the direction of an unattractive woman who came in a while back.
The first fellow looks back at the second fellow and says, Ya know, that woman is looking better and better, isnt she?
The second fellow takes another look at the woman, then looks back at his friend and says, well, I guess what they say is true, then, eh?
The first fellow asks, Well, what DO they say? The second fellow answers, Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
What do you call a French man wearing sandals?
A French soldier.
Posted in Ethnic |
A distraught patient phoned her doctors office. Was it true, the woman wanted
to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her
life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman
continued, Im wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This
prescription is marked NO REFILLS.
Henry Cate III
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Two men were on an Alaskan bear hunt. On season opening morning, a light snow fell, and one man stayed in the cabin while the other man went out hunting. He soon found a huge grizzly and shot at it, but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward the hunter, he dropped his rifle, and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over the man and went rolling into the cabin.
The guy jumped up, closed the cabin door, and yelled to his friend inside, You skin this one while I go and get another!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
If you think Purina is some kind of Ex-Lax.
Youve ever given a set of Tupperware ice tea glasses as a wedding present.
Your dungarees expose more than half of your crack in the back because the weight of your pocket knife.
Posted in Redneck |
La maestra manda a los alumnos a investigar sobre cosas que contengan pelos. Al dÃa siguiente:
A ver tú, Anita.
La toalla, maestra.
Muy bien. Tú, Juanito.
La alfombra, maestra.
¡Perfecto!
A ver tú, Pepito.
Las bolas de billar, maestra.
Pero, Pepito, las bolas de billar no tienen pelos.
¿Ah, no? ¡Villar muestra tus bolas!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |