Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest in supposedly Interesting movies? It could be that youre one of the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of a steaming turd! If so, you may want to join MUNSA – Mentally Unemployed and Noticeably Stupid Association.Try the questionnaire below. The results could surprise you! If you cant even read the question, youre halfway there already – just get someone to fill out our full colour brochure at any trailing chemist, and youll be in for some, good old fashioned non-challenging material.1. Which of the following WAS one of the famous Marx Brothers?a. STRETCH
b. SKID
c. HARPO
d. TYRE2. The number missing from the series (1,2,4,..,16) is:a. YELLOW
b. GERANIUM
c. 8
d. TYRE3. The letter missing from the series (a,b,c,..,e) is:a. z
b. b
c. d
d. TYRE4. A man walks into a Barber Shop, with $5.00. He buys 2 lemons at 45c each, 1 Pickled Eel for $2.40, 4 packets of washing powder for $3.15 each. What will happen?a. The Barber will wonder where all the stuffs coming from
b. He wasnt in a Barbers shop, it was a Dairy
c. The Barber will ask him if hes from MUNSA
d. Tyre5. Two trains leave the same station, but moving in opposite directions. The first train is travelling at 50km/hr EAST, while the second one is travelling 50km/hr WEST. Which train is travelling the fastest?a. The one going EAST
b. The one going WEST
c. Neither
d. Tyre
e. Why arent there (e.)s in all the other questions6. What comes next in the series (RED, GREEN)a. A car
b. Orange
c. Insufficient Data
d. Tyre7. Mona Lisa was:a. A dissatisfied Woman
b. A Song by Billy Idol
c. A painting
d. Tyre8. The cold war was about:a. Ice
b. Autumn
c. A few people at the top not liking each other
d. Tyre9. Complete the following Sequence: (Tyre Tyre Tyre)a. Tyre
b. Tyre
c. Tyre
d. Pardon?Ok, time to total up all your marks. Those o
There were three ladies at the obstetricians office, waiting to see what their results were. When the first young woman came back to the waiting room, she was very happy.
Im going to have a boy! she declared. The doctor said that if my husband was on top, I would have a boy.
When the second young woman came back, she was very happy, too. Im going to have a girl! The doctor said that if I was on top, I would have a girl.
Suddenly, the third young woman burst into tears. The other two tried to console her, but all she could say was Im going to have a puppy!
What is green, has four legs, and smells like Monica Lewinsky? The
pool table in the oval office!
Paez le tenia rabia a BolÃvar porque siempre lo perseguÃan las mujeres y a él no. Un dÃa le pregunta:
BolÃvar, ¿cómo hace usted para tener tantas mujeres?
Mire, ahà viene una dama, déjeme darle un ejemplo.
BolÃvar va donde la dama:
Me gustarÃa ser su perfume para embriagarme todo el dÃa.
La dama le sonrÃe y se va, no sin antes darle un buen beso. Paez ve que viene otra dama y decide intentarlo:
Me gustarÃa ser su sombrilla.
¿Y para qué?, le responde la mujer.
Pa que me agarre po el palo todo el dÃa.
When Mike got arrested, they told him, Anything you say will be held against you.
Mike said, Claudia Schiffers breasts.
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
What you use when your peter backs out
before your back peters out.
Why does Monica Lewinsky refuse to play golf?
She is sick and tired of getting hit in the head with Bills balls.
1) So your daughters a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
Shes a really good lay!
2) My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat.
When I loooked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
3) You had your bladder removed,
and youre on the mends.
Heres a bouquet of flowers
And a box of Depends.
4) Youve announced that youre gay,
Wont that be a laugh,
When they find out youre one
Of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!
5) Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy!
6) Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be,
But dont fret about it,
She moved in with me!
7) You totaled your car
And cant remember why.
Could it have been
that case of Bud Dry?
One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote –
IM DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!