The Sergeant had a Colonel who was an absolute ass. So before the next inspection, the Sergeant cleaned the toilet in the barracks very carefully, and then floated a dab of peanut butter on a piece of toilet paper.
The Colonel proceeded with inspection, came to the toilet and screamed, Sergeant that Looks Like SHIT.
The Sergeant leaned carefully over the toilet, inhaled and said well maybe…. then leaned over picked up the peanut butter and put it in his mouth and said, Colonel, youre right because it does indeed TASTE like shit.
Posted in Foul Language |
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.
The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days.
This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.
The blonde follows the doctors advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that shed indeed lost twenty pounds.
She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?
Posted in Blonde |
Knock knock:whos there
banana:banana who
knock knock:whos there
banana:banana who
knock knock:whos there
orange:orange who
orange you glad i didnt say banana
Posted in Knock-knock |
yo mamas so fat you can make a coat out of her belly button lint
Posted in Yo Mama |
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out all the Ws!
Posted in Blonde |
By doing just a little every day,
I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
Posted in One Liners |
What do you get when you cross a Polish guy and a Mexican?
A car thief who cant drive.
Posted in Ethnic |
1. Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
2. Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before! Caddy: I didnt realize you had played before, sir!
3. Golfer: My wife says if I dont stop playing golf shes going to leave me! Caddy: Im sure you will miss her terribly, sir!
4. Golfer: Well caddy, do you like my game? Caddy: Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
She says, Father, I never wear panties under my habit.
The priest chuckles and says, Thats not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do six cartwheels on your way to the altar.
Posted in General / Unsorted |