There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.

The Japanese exclaimed, Wah… so expensive!

There upon, the driver yelled back, Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!

¿Cómo se relacionan las matemáticas con el sexo?

Se unen un 1° y un 2°…

Para formar un 3°, en un 4°…

Para romper un 5°.

Una novicia recién ingresada en un convento comienza por primera vez con los rituales matutinos. Siguiendo en fila a las otras hermanas, llega a la capilla donde se encontraba expuesto el Santísimo y observa que aquellas se inclinan diciendo:

Yo me ofrezco.

Una tras otra:

Yo me ofrezco.

Cuando llega su turno, la novicia se inclina diciendo:

¡Yo meo calientito y espumoso!

Manolo se encontraba puliendo un poste de metal con un pañuelo. En eso llega Venancio:

¿Por qué estás haciendo eso?

Manolo le contesta enseñándole la cabeza:

¿Qué no ves el chichote que tengo?

¡Hombre! ¿Y eso qué tiene que ver?

Es que el doctor me dijo que me limpiara en el sitio donde me golpeé.

Juancho compró una Kawasaki al llegar a Puerto Rico. Entonces se va a probarla a la autopista. La acelera al máximo y mas al frente va un Porche y Juancho se le pega y le dice:

¿Conoce mi Kawazaki?

Y el del Porche acelera y se va mas al frente y Juancho se le pega de nuevo y le dice:

¿Conoce mi Kawazaki?

El del porche se le despega otra vez y Juancho se le vuelve a pegar…

¿Conoce mi Kawazaki?

El del Porche ya estaba enpezando a enojarse y le dice:

Sí, la conozco.

Y Juancho le dice:

¡Pues dime donde están los frenos que no puedo parar!

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.

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For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

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For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

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For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Reinstall the software

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Say they need an upgrade

Reinstall the software

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Find a way around it

Say they need an upgrade

Reinstall the software

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Blame it on the hardware

Find a way around it

Say they need an upgrade

Reinstall the software

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Change the documentation

Blame it on the hardware

Find a way around it

Say they need an upgrade

Reinstall the software

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Say its not supported

Change the documentation

Blame it on the hardware

Find a way around it

Say they need an upgrade

Reinstall the software

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

——————————————————————————–

For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Tell them its a feature

Say its not supported

Change the documentation

Blame it on the hardware

Find a way around it

Say they need an upgrade

Reinstall the software

Ask for a dump

Run with the debugger

Try to reproduce it

Ask them how they did it and

See if they can do it again.

The wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night.

She looks at her husband and says, Honey, do you remember this?



He looks up at her and replies, Yes dear, I do, you wore that same negligee the night we were married.



Thats right. she replied, And do you remember what you said to me that night?



He nods and says, Yes dear, I still remember.



Well, what was it?



He responds, Well honey, as I remember, I said, Ohhhhhhh, Baby, Im going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out!



She giggles and says, Yes, That was it. That was exactly what you said. And now its 50 years later, Im in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?



Again, he looks up at her and looks her up and down and says, Mission Accomplished.

People Cant Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

What do you call a white man with a black man?

– A lawyer.

What do you call a white man with three black men?

– A victim.

What do you call a white man with five black men?

– A coach.

What do you call a white man with two hundred black men?

– A warden.

What do you call a white man surrounded by 30,000 black men?

– Postmaster General.

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?Would you please pronounce where we are…very slowly?The blonde guy leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr-gerrrrr Kiiinnnggg.