Why did God give woman nipples?
To make suckers out of men.
24
Dec
23
Dec
Q: How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One–but he has to wait until the light is better.
23
Dec
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
23
Dec
The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded – you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger.
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
[click] [click]
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette. So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful, naked women.
The African ambassador said These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a blowjob – take your pick.
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldnt see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said Well, ok, great, but wheres the roulette part? Wheres the danger?
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
One of thems a cannibal
23
Dec
After having quadruplets, the mother named them… Adolph, Rudolph, Getoff, and Stayoff.
22
Dec
THINGS YOULL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing.
2. If its really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how its going. That greatly aids my efficiency.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where youre going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
22
Dec
Yo mama so flat shes jealous of a book!
22
Dec
Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.
22
Dec
What did the [ethnic] do before going to a cock fight?
He greased his zipper.
22
Dec
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress
(reading her name tag)?
A: Debbie. . . thats cute. What did you name the other one?