Old and New Jokes

The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:

This fire help. Me Groog

Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.

You have flint and stone?

Ugh

You hit them together?

Ugh

What happen?

Fire not work

(sigh) Make spark?

No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.

*sigh* You change rock?

I change nothing

You sure?

Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldnt keep Lorto from make fire.

* Grabs club and goes to Lortos cave *

* WHAM * WHAM * WHAM * WHAM *

from rec.humor.funny.reruns

A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office.

Things arent going too well, guys, he announced grimly. So to perk up sales Im announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job.



What does the loser get? asked one of the salesmen.



The owner looked at both men and said, The loser gets to give it.

On New Yorks Upper West Side lived an assimilated Jew who was a militant atheist. But he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its denominational roots, it’s a great school and completely secular.After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, “By the way Dad, do you know what ‘Trinity’ means? It means the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.”The father can barely control his rage. He seizes his son by the shoulders and declares, “Danny, I’m going to tell you something now and I want you never to forget it. There is only one God. AND we don’t believe in Him!”

A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentencewas a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.The first guy decides totake an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.The second guy decides totake a water bottle so that he wont get thirsty. Finally, the third guydecides to take a car door. The judge asked, "Whyin the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case itgets hot, I can roll down the window."

Question : Sabse jyada sardar kahan miltey hein

Answer : jokes mein

10 things men know about women:

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10: They have tits

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, Im here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.

Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.

The lawyer puzzedly asked, How do you start a flood?

Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job–primer red and primer gray.

The tobacco chewers in your family arent just men.

Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire…on her house

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.