Old and New Jokes

and under the lid it said Please Try Again Because they were having a contest I was unaware of. I thought I opened the yougurt wrong. Or perhaps Yoplait was trying to inspire me. Cmon Mitchell, Dont give up. Please Try Again. A Word of Inspiration from your friends at Yoplait Fruit on the Bottom, Hope On Top

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Dont think that youre thinking. If you think that youre thinking you only think that youre thinking.

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?

Why is it, when a door is open its ajar, but when a jar is open, its not adoor?

If Thinking Machines ran Christmas…
You would be able to hang over 64,000 ornaments on your tree (all identical) at the same time.

Q: How many Apple programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but why bother ? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway.

En la clase de Jaimito dice la profesora:

A ver niños, tenéis que decirme órganos a pares, ¿vale? Empieza Juan.

Pues las orejas, señorita.

Muy bien, Juan. Ahora tú, Pedro.

Los pulmones, señorita.

Muy bien. A ver, ahora tú Jaimito… ¡pero cuidado que nos conocemos!

La churra.

Jaimito observa que la maestra pone mala cara y se defiende:

Sí señorita, porque mi padre tiene una churra, así de pequeñita, para hacer pipí; y otra, así de grande, para que mi madre se lave los dientes.

Érase una inocente princesa que paseaba por el bosque y que encontró en una charca el momento adecuado para refrescarse. En eso, oye una voz que le dice:

¡Hola!

Pero allí no había nadie y, pensando que se trataba de su imaginación, decidió continuar refrescándose la cara, cuando volvió a oír:

¡Hola, estoy aquí!

La princesa observó que se trataba de una ranita. Ésta le dijo a la inocente princesa que se trataba de un príncipe que había sido encantado por una malvada bruja y que si dormía bajo la almohada de una inocente princesa, se volvería otra vez príncipe y conseguiría la fortuna perdida. La princesita, que era muy inocente, la llevó al castillo, la puso bajo la almohada y se durmió.

Y este es el cuento que le contó la princesa a su padre, cuando al día siguiente la encontró con un tío en la cama.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

A replacement of old bugs with new bugs.

To get to the shell station.

There were these three guys, a Polish guy, an Italian guy, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they noticed that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, theyll all leave early too.



The boss leaves and so did they. The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so he can get an early start the next morning. The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner. The Polish guy goes home and walks to his bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss, so he shuts the door and leaves.



The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking about going home early again. They ask the Polish guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, No. They ask him why not and he says, Because yesterday I almost got caught!