19
Nov

Apology

This is an original submission, although I didnt originate it.
If I have screwed up, assume that all the terms below apply to me.

—–begin included—–
Date: Thu, 10 Nov 1994 09:36:28 -1000 (HST)
From: Zoweee Wow, KSC <zoweee@zang.kcc.hawaii.edu>
Subject: My Tongue Ring (A Public Apology)

In accordance with the terms laid out on Monday, November 7th, 1994, I do
herebye offer Public and Embarassing Apology to a large group of
strangers for my statement upon that day that Tongue rings dont hurt at
all, you fucking wusses.

In my most remarkable stupidity, I dared to contradict the wisdom of my
obvious superiors simply because the piercing itself was not painful. I
proved my inability to grasp even the simple concepts underlying the
bodys willingness to Seek Revenge against Stupid Assholes Like Myself
for acts Most Heinous against the organism. Furthermore, I did this in
direct opposition to people who OWNED tongue piercings, knew the pain
they cause, and are obviously more intelligent than I.

To fulfill the terms of this agreement, I do herebye authorize the
further propagation of this Apology For Being a Shitheel, and hope that
my name will be placed somewhere near that of Hitler and Napoleon in the
annals of dimwitted jerkoffs, being second in bozosity only to people
who believe that attacking the russians in autumn is a Wise Plan.

Now, someone give me some Percocet before I die.

Zoweee Wow, Idiot-at-Large (23rd Congressional District)
zoweee@zang.kcc.hawaii.edu
chadr@uhunix.uhcc.hawaii.edu

—–end included—–

19
Nov

knock knock whos there!

KNOCK KNOCK WHOS THERE CHANUKAH CHANUKAH WHO CHANUKAH IS HERE!

18
Nov

Knock Knock Whos there? Toucan! Toucan who? Toucan play

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Toucan!
Toucan who?
Toucan play at this game!

18
Nov

Yo mama is so old

Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

18
Nov

Llega un cura recin muerto

Llega un cura recién muerto a las puertas del Cielo, pero no hay nadie afuera. Entonces toca, pero nadie le abre porque adentro hay un fiestón y se escucha mucho ruido.

El padre vuelve a tocar como cinco veces y por fin le contesta San Pedro:

¿Quién eshhh?

Soy yo, San Pedro, vengo en busca de soledad y paz.

Y San Pedro le responde:

¡No, esas putas ya no trabajan aquí!

18
Nov

Ways to confuse a roommate

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

193. Arrange your pillows and blankets every night to make it look like you are asleep. Do this for three weeks. Buy a cantalope and a knife. Stick the knife in the cantalope. Lay it on the pillow where your head should be.

18
Nov

The more ridiculous a belief

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher probability of its success.

18
Nov

The devil finds work for

The devil finds work for idle glands.

18
Nov

Blondes Making Kool-Aid

Why dont blondes like making Kool-Aid?

Because they cant fit eight cups of water in the little packet.

18
Nov

yo house

your house so small i threw a rock and hit everybody