Q: How many holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just deny the bulb ever went out in the first place.
03
Mar
03
Mar
What is Rodeo Sex?
Well, its where your lady friend is on all fours, you are firmly ensconced from the rear with a breast in each hand, and you say to her, This is the way your sister likes it too. You have eight seconds to stay in the saddle.
03
Mar
Things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving but really arent:
Reach in and grab the giblets.
Whew… thats one terrific spread!
Im in the mood for a little dark meat.
Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
Talk about a huge breast!
And he forces his way into the end zone.
Shes 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.
Its cool whip time!
If I dont unbuckle my pants, Im going to burst.
It must be broken cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out.
03
Mar
How do you kill a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a pool and tell her to go smell it.
03
Mar
In the early 1930s, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
$10 for 3 minutes, replied the pilot. Thats too much, said the farmer.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, Ill make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, youll have to pay $10.
The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man.
Maybe so, said the farmer, But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.
03
Mar
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
125. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, I think this game goes a lot faster with two players.
03
Mar
how many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I dont know. I havnt find one that could do it yet.
03
Mar
A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun – they just dont remember who with.
03
Mar
I got this from another Lab attendant at work, but cant remember who.
BMW
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monsterous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpeices on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waste
Big Money Works
Blastphemous Motorized Wreck
Born Moderately Wealthy
Break My Windows
Broken Money Waster
Broken Monsterous Wonder
Brutal Money Waster
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Boring Monotonous Wanker
Buick
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer
Chevrolet
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Chevy
Charged Heavily
Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Dodge
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Fiat
Fucking Italian Attempt (at) Transportation
Failure in Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fix It Again Tony!
Ford
Fucked over rebuilt Dodge
Fucker Only Runs Downhill
Fucked on Race Day
First On Recall Day
First on race day
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found on road dead
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSotos
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Garage Mans Companion
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Got More Crap
Mopar
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Plymouth
Please Let Your Mother Out (from) Under The Hood!
Pussy Lips In Your MOUTH
SAAB
Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies
Such an arrogant bastard!
Swedish Automobile – Always Broken
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
03
Mar
If you were in a dark room with a big strong man, would you want the lights on?