Q: How many body builders/weightlifters does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 6. One to change it and 5 to say Man, youve got huge muscles !
14
Nov
14
Nov
A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. Maybe all I need is some fresh air, thought the man as he crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud. Screw it, he thought.
Ill just crawl home.
The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep. You went out drinking last night, didnt you? she said Uh, yes, he said sheepishly.
How did you know?
You left your wheelchair at the bar again.
14
Nov
Kelly limps into his favorite pub…
My god! What happened to you? the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
I got in a tiff with Riley, whispered Kelly to the beertender.
Riley? Hes just a wee fellow, the barkeep said surprised.
He must have had something in his hand.
That he did, Kelly said. A shovel it was.
Dear Lord. Didnt you have anything in your hand?
Aye, that I did – Mrs. Rileys right tit. Kelly said.
And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!
14
Nov
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Jewell!
Jewell who?
Jewell remember me once you open the door!
14
Nov
Never try to pacify someone at the height of his rage.
14
Nov
Three guys were taking needles, two Americans and an [ethnic] guy.
The first American takes the drug and hands the needle to the second
American who cleans the needle, takes the drug and hands it to the [ethnic]
guy.
The [ethnic] guy takes the drug without cleaning the needle.
The two Americans yell at the [ethnic] guy, telling him he can get aids
from using a dirty needle.
The [ethnic] guy says No I cant. Im wearing a condom
14
Nov
How do you sink an [ethnic] submarine?
Put it into water.
14
Nov
– Because they have smelly feet.
14
Nov
If shes still ugly, have another beer.
14
Nov
Yo mama so dumb she jumped out a window and got stuck in mid air.