22
Oct

There were two kids

There were two kids (both african american) it was halloween night and the two kids the brother and the sister wanted to go out trick or treatting but to do so they had to put on a costume first they dressed up as batman and robbin so they went next door dressed up and their neighbor says so who are you two supposed to be and they reply batman and robin she says batman and robin are not black so they go home and dress as raggady Ann and Raggady Andy they do the same they go next door and knock the woman asks the same question and they reply Raggady Ann and Raggady Andy and the woman says but Raggady Ann and Raggady Andy are not black so they go home and they change once more but being frustrated by all the remarks the girl says oh I have an idea take off all your clothes so they do and go next door and knock they woman asttonished opens the door and says oh my! and now what do you say you are ? the kids reply two hershey bars, one with nuts and one without!

22
Oct

Another light bulb…

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Its irrelevant; they still dont accept the fact that theyre in the dark!

22
Oct

Math one-liner

Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x?

22
Oct

Did you hear about the

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.

22
Oct

Ed Zachary disease

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her MD recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well-known sex therapist.

So, she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, OK, take off all your crose. So she did. Now, get down and crawl reery fass to the other side of room.

So, she did. Dr. Chang then said, OK now crawl reery fass toward me, so she did. Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said Your probrem vewy bad,y ou haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, that why you not haf sex or dates.

Confused, the woman asked, What is Ed Zachary Disease? Dr. Chang replied, It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.

22
Oct

The Top 20 Rejected Childrens Books

NOTE FROM CHRIS: Yo, homeboys and homegirls, todays list is a Top5 O.L., originally published back in the day (July 3, 1996).

  1. Where in the New York Area is Jimmy Hoffa?
  2. The Unabomber Pop-Up Manifesto and Coloring Book
  3. The Frog Formerly Known as Prince
  4. Alice in WonderBraLand
  5. The Legend of Three-Card Monte
  6. 40 Whacks: Counting With Lizzie
  7. The Little Engine That Could, If Only That Damned Gout Would Go Away
  8. Girls Are From Venus, Boys Are From Cootieland
  9. Where the Wildings Are
  10. The Little Big Book of Necrophelia
  11. The J. Edgar Hoover Dress-Up Book
  12. Joe Camel and The Magic Cancer Stick
  13. The Crack House at Pooh Corner
  14. The Dummys Guide to Crying
  15. When Mommy Leaves Daddy, And What You Did to Cause It
  16. Wheres Waldos Weewee?
  17. The Dyslexics Big Anagram Book
  18. Barneys Bleeding and Nobody Can Help
  19. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

    and Top5s Number 1 Rejected Childrens Book…

  20. Furious George Delivers the Mail


[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
22
Oct

Hillbilly that passed away

Q: Did you hear about the hillbilly that passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his widow?

A: She cant touch it till she turns fourteen.

22
Oct

Bras

Dad, can I ask you something?

Sure! What about?

You see, Im already fourteen and…I think its just proper that I should own one.

And what is this one youre referring to?

Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?

No!

My nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.

Nope!

It will be just proper at my age…

I said no way…!

But all of my friends wear…

Timmy! How many times shall I tell you that bras are for girls!?

22
Oct

A Mexican joke

Why did God give Mexicans a nose?

So theyd have something to pick in the off season!

22
Oct

Southern University Psychology

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes."Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?""Sadness," said the student."And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma."Elation," she said."And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy up ".