Knock Knock
Whos there?
Bolivia!
Boliva who?
Boliva me, I know what Im talking about!
03
Oct
03
Oct
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
03
Oct
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He sips it and sets it down a monkey swings across the bar and pisses in the pint.
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey.
The barman replies the piano player.
The man walks over to the piana player and says Do you know your monkey pissed in my beer.
The pianist replies No, but if you hum it Ill play it.
03
Oct
How to say…..I Love You
in Different Languages
English………I Love You
Spanish……..Te Amo
French………Je Taime
German……..Ich Liebe Dich
Japanese……Ai Shite Imasu
Italian………..Ti Amo
Chinese……..Wo Ai Ni
Swedish…….Jag Alskar Dig
Eskimo………Nagligivaget
Greek………..SAgapo
Hawaiian…….Aloha Wau la Oe
Irish………….Thaim In Grabh Leat
Hebrew………Ani Ohev Otakh
Russian……..Ya Lyublyu Tyebya
Albanian…….Une Te Dua
Finnish………Mina Rakkastan Sinua
Turkish………Seni Seviyorum
Hungarian….Se Ret Lay
Persian……..Du Stet Daram
Maltese……..ien Inhobbok
Catalan……..Testimo Molt
Redneck ……Nice Tits
03
Oct
De 8 años la llevas a la cama y le cuentas un cuento.
De 18 años le cuentas un cuento y te la llevas a la cama.
De 28 años no necesitas contarle ningún cuento para llevártela a la cama.
De 38 años ella te cuenta un cuento y te lleva a la cama.
De 48 años le cuentas un cuento para evitar ir a la cama.
De 58 años ella te dice: Tú en la cama ya eres puro cuento.
De 68 años eres tú quien no quiere saber nada de cuentos ni de camas.
De 88 años apenas ven la cama pero no se acuerdan como era el cuento.
03
Oct
Old, I told her to act her own age, and she died.
poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked
her what she was doing, she said Moving.
nasty, her hairy armpits look like shes got
Buckwheat in a headlock.
ugly, when she puts her face next to the bowl trying to
hear snap-crackle-pop, all she heard was ARGHHHHHHHH!!!
Lets get the hell outta here.
old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.
poor, they put her picture on food stamps.
old, she owes Jesus Christ a quarter.
old, her social security number is 1.
poor, she cant even pay attention.
poor, she went to Kentucky Fried Chicken and
licked everyone elses fingers.
old, she knew Burger King When he was a prince.
old, shes got Jesus beeper number.
glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map,
she can see people waving at her
ugly, cockroaches go like this HI! MOM
poor, when she heard about Last Supper, she
thought she ran out of food stamps
old, she planted the first tree at Central Park
old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp
ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so
that he doesnt have to kiss her goodbye.
old, that when she was in school there was no history class.
old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
poor, when I ring the doorbell she says,DING!
poor, she ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her!
skinny, she turned sideways and dissapeared.
poor, she went to McDonalds and had to put
her french fries on lay-a-way.
old, she knew Captain Crunch when he was a private
nearsighted, she can see the future
old, her birth certificate says Expired on it.
old, she was Bob Doles baby sitter.
03
Oct
Knock Knock!
Whos there?
Someone who cant reach the doorbell
03
Oct
To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.
03
Oct
For Catholics, death is a promotion.
03
Oct
What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other?
Gee, we really do taste like chicken.