Pick-Up Rebuttal Humor

Man: Havent we met before?

Woman: Yes, Im the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place?

Woman: Well, I dont know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Id really like to get into your pants.

Woman: No thanks. Theres already one asshole in there.

Man: Want to Dance?

Woman: No, thank you.

Man: Dont thank me, thank God because somebody asked you.

Man: Id like to call you. Whats your number?

Woman: Its in the phone book.

Man: But I dont know your name.

Woman: Thats in the phone book too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?

Woman: Female impersonator.

Man: You know, Id really love to travel to exotic places with you.

Woman: (Tries to ignore him.)

Man: You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?

Woman: Hmmm…you really love sex and travel?

Man: (Nods his head smiling.)

Woman: Then go take a fuckin hike!!!

Man: (Trying to pick up this girl.)

Woman: Can you pound a railroad spike through a 2×4 with your hard-on?

Man: (Merely shudders a negative.)

Woman: Well, a girls gotta have her standards.

Man: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)

Woman: Je voudrais bien, mais je nai rien a porter.
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

Man: What sign were you born under?

Woman: No Parking.

Man: (Comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line.)

Woman: (Grabs his crotch, looks down at it, and looks back at
him.) Sorry, I dont see any potential here
(Nonchalantly walks off.)

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized, fuck off!

Man: (Tells a pick-up line at the airport bar.)

Woman: I like your approach, now lets see your departure.

Man: (Graying man in his 60s.) Where have you been all my life?

Woman: For the first half of it, I probably wasnt born yet.

Man: (Glancing at a girl who had just walked by.)

Woman: What are you looking at?

Man: I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Man: Hey, come on, were both here at this bar for the same reason!

Woman: Yeah! Lets pick up some chicks!

Man: Im here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.

Woman: (Turning and looking at him. Lips parted and moistened
with the tip of tongue. Leaning towards him with her
hands on her thighs, and her eyes opened to the size of
dinner plates.) Youve got a large donkey or Doberman?

Man: (Pick-line.)

Woman: Sorry, I dont date outside my species.

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