The following is a description of a New Zealand wine taken straight from the bottle word for word. (Anyone who has tried it will know that it is a mild description).



PURPLE DEATH (that is really the name)



An unusual Rough-as-Guts aperitif that has the distinctive bouquet of horse-shit and old tram tickets. It is best drunk with the teeth clenched to prevent ingestion of any foreign bodies. Connoisseurs will savour the slight tannin taste of old tea leaves and burnt cat fur. Possessors of a cultivated palate will admire the initial assault on the taste buds which comes from the careful and loving blending of animal manure and perished jock straps strained through an old miners sock. The maturing in small pigs bladders gives it a very definite nose.



Marketed under the Saviour Brand (9 out of 10 people who drink it for the first time exclaim Je-e-esus Chri-ist).



Caution: Keep away from naked flames (both old and new).



BOTTLED BY THE MAD SCIENTIST – JUST FOR FUN FOR SAPICH BROTHERS Forest Hill Road, Henderson, New Zealand