Old and New Jokes

Santa Claus is Wielding a Gun



(to the tune of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town)



Oh, you better watch out

You better not pry

You better stay back

Im telling you why

Santa Claus is wielding a gun



Hes making a list

And checking it twice

Gonna find out who

Hes gonna ice

Santa Claus is wielding a gun



Dont give him any trouble

Hell blow you right away

Dont give him any cause to shoot

Or youll make his Christmas Day



Oh, you better believe

Hes packing a rod

No coal in your stocking

Just lead in your bod

Santa Claus is wielding a gun



He doesnt want cookies

Or none of that crud

He doesnt want milk

What he wants is your blood

Santa Claus is wielding a gun



(Music Bridge, with automatic arms fire)



He doesnt trust nobody

Shot all his reindeer dead

Thought Dancer was a sissy

And thought Rudoulph was a red



Oh, you better watch out

You better not pry

You better stay back

Im telling you why



Santa Claus is wielding a gun