Signs You Bought

Signs You Bought a Bad Christmas Tree

Two feet tall, forty feet wide

Salesmans opening line: Youre not a cop, are you?

It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers

While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride.

Each branch has Duraflame printed on it.

Keeps heckling your lame top ten list

Its very small and says air freshener on it.

Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours.

Some guy named Mujibur puts a crappy Statue of Liberty on top of it

Constantly bragging about its trunk size

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