31
Jul

Ten Fun things to tell telemarketers

Next time one of those pushy telemarketing people calls, try one of these responses:

Im sorry, sir, but Im completely filled with fruit and cheese.
OK, Ill take it on the condition that, right now, you bark like a dog for three minutes straight.
I cant make that kind of decision now; Im on my deathbed. (cough, cough)
When you send that registration form to me, do I fill it out in pen, or is human blood OK?
Im too fucking drunk to decide. (vomit noises)
Grandpa? Grandpa, is that you?… But… but… youve been dead for 15 years!
(Japanese accent) Sorry, Im not very interesting.
Really, maam, this is not a good time. Im cold and naked with a plastic bag over my head.
Now will this protection youre offering cover all the children I keep locked up in the basement?
No, sir, you will not solicipitate me!!!

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