The Divorce

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.

Pop, what are you talking about? the son screams.

We cant stand the sight of each other any longer, the old man says. Were sick of each other, and Im sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her, and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, Like heck theyre getting divorced, she shouts, Ill take care of this. She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, You are NOT getting divorced! Dont do a single thing until I get there. Im calling my brother back! , and well both be there tomorrow. Until then, dont do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME? and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. Okay, he says, Theyre coming for Passover and paying their own airfares.

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