The REAL Chain Of Command


Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.

Executive Vice President

Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks to God.

Division Manager

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special request is approved.

Plant Manager

Barely clears a Quonset hut.
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.

Sales Manager

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings.
Is run over by a locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.


Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat with a life jacket.
Talks to walls.

Production Manager

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings.
Says, Look at the choo-choo.
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.


Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in their teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
Is God.

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