I only had one officer Mr. Keg..

Back off Barney, Ive got a piece.

Want to race to the station, Sparky?

I know I was weaving, but I cant find the Honeycomb Hideout!

On the way to the station lets get a twelve pack.

Youll never get those cuffs on me…You wimp!

Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

Hey, wasnt your daughter a pork queen?

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

Im surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?

Hey, you mustve been doing about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!

Sorry, Officer, I didnt realize my radar detector wasnt plugged in.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

Excuse me. Is stick up hyphenated?

You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

Bad Cop! No Donut!

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are cars around, thats how far I am behind the other cars.

Youre NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

Lets do it different this time… I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow

Didnt I see you get your ass kicked on COPS last week on TV?

Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriends bed.

I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Gee, officer! Thats terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

So, are you still crabby because your mamma didnt let you play with your gun when you were little?

Hey is that a 9 mm? Thats nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

When you smack the crap outta me, make su