Translation from English to corporate

Top executive of Big Construction Company:

Give me a brief summary of what is currently being done on the site.

Middle level manager:

Here… this fellow in the yellow hard hat is one of our employees,
Paddy OHara, and talking to him is the foreman, Washington Smith.
Mr. Smith requests that Mr. OHara take this long pipe and carry it to
that corner of the site, motivating his request with the fact that
Mr. OHara has been in intimate relationship with his own mother,
whereas Mr. OHara refuses to carry the pipe, motivating his refusal
with the fact that he is currently in intimate relationships with the pipe,
with Mr. Smith, with the construction site, and with Big Construction

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