Men Are Like Weather
How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
A Dell technician recieved a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was bad and an invalid. The tech explained that the computers bad command and invalid responses shouldnt be taken personally.
Q: How many off-campus landlords does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The students will just wreck it, anyhow, so why bother?
Did you hear that Captain Hook died from jock itch?
Ha muerto Don Nicanor y la gente lo esta velando.U na mujer al mirar el cadáver ve que el finado tenÃa un pene super grande, se da vuelta y le comenta a una amiga:
Mira, igualito al de mi marido.
El marido mas atrás escucha esto y saca pecho. La amiga sorprendida dice:
¿Asà de grande?
No, asà de muerta.
In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: Cant you see Im winning??
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victims Kin
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Q: What goes, "Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG BANG clip clop clip clop clip clop…" A: An Amish drive-by shooting.
The President and Mrs. Clinton are in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them is filed with Secret Service agents. One of them leans over and wispers something into the Presidentss ear.
Mr. Clinton pauses then grabs Hilary by the scuff of the neck and heaves her over the railing! She falls 10 feet to the dugout, kicking and screaming obcenities.
The President shakes hands with those near him, getting high fives. The Secret Service Agent leans over again and whispers, Mr. President, I said, – They want you to throw out the FIRST PITCH!