If not controlled, work will
If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
A Priest and a Rabbi are riding in a plane. After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?
The Rabbi responds, Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.
The Priest then asks, Have you ever eaten pork?
To which the Rabbi replies, Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted pork.
The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?
The Priest replied, Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.
The Rabbi then asked him, Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?
The Priest replied, Yes Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.
The Rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, A lot better than pork isnt it?
The story takes place in a Christian school. The teacher asks the question, What part of your body gets to heaven first?
Three students raise their hand, Jenny, Jim, and little Johnny in the back. The teacher thinks to herself, I dont want to call on Johnny cause he will say something bad.
So she picks on Jenny first who says, I think your head gets to heaven first cause you have to be smart.
The teacher then calls on Jim who says, I think your heart gets to heaven first cause you gotta have a good heart.
Finally Johnny is the only one with his hand up. The teacher says to herself Oh no, I gotta pick Johnny. She picks him and he says, I think your feet get to heaven first.
The relieved teacher asks him, Why on earth do you think your feet get to heaven first?
Johnny says, Cause I walked into my Mom and Dads room last night and my moms feet were straight up in the air and she was shouting Oh God Im cummin!
A dense fog halted all flights from the big airport. The lobby soon filled with passengers eager to be on their way. Most of them philosophically accepted the airlines obvious explanation about the fog.
One whippersnapperish woman, however, refused to be satisfied. Taking a position directly in front of the counter, she rejected all efforts of a young assistant manager to explain the delay.
Finaly she said, Young man, I dont believe you know what you are talking about. I insist on speaking to the person responsible for delaying my flight.
In a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, the young man said into his telephone, Hello, operator, would you connect this party with Extension One in Heaven?
From Sat. Evening Post, Sep/Oct 95, p. 82
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. So upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the days route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldnt get out of her room.You cant get out of your room? the captain asked, Why not?The stewardess replied, There are only three doors in here, she cried, one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, Do Not Disturb.
In this age of students campaigning for the rights to condom machines in their dormitories, I have never understood why some pundit did not choose to call these collegiate domiciles condo-miniums.
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macys, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. Id like to buy a bra for my wife
What type of bra? asked the clerk.
Type? inquires the man There is more than one type?
Look Around, said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.
Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras, replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what were the types.
The saleslady replied The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?
Still confused the man asked What is the difference between them?
The lady responded It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.
Los papás de una niña le regalan un globo. Todo el dÃa la niña juega feliz con él, hasta que llega la hora de ir a dormir, y sin saber donde guardarlo lo mete dentro del sanitario.
Como a las 3 de la mañana se despierta la madre con una diarrea tremenda, por lo menos 2 horas seguidas cagando. Al fin termina y cuando mira su obra de arte ¡se lleva tremenda sorpresa! Espantada, llama al marido y éste llama al medico de la familia para que revise a su esposa.
Por fin llega el medico y le hace todos los exámenes a la mujer sin encontrarle ningún problema grave, asà que decide realizarle una biopsia al montón de mierda… saca su bisturà y al pinchar el globo vuela caca a todas partes.
Un poco sorprendido, el médico se limpia los restos de popo que tiene en su cara y luego le dice a la pareja:
¡En veinte años que llevo ejerciendo mi profesión, esta es la primera vez en mi vida que veo un pedo con cáscara!