A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

What do Bill Clinton and a bubble gum have in common?

Monica has blown them both.

They had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To
celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel.

She said to the bellman, We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning.

But, madam!, replied the bellman.

Dont But madam me, she continued. You cant treat us like were a couple of fools just because we dont travel much, and weve never been to the big city, and never spent the night at a hotel. Im going to complain to the manager.

Madam, the bellman said, this isnt your room; this is the elevator!

A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa .

One day his wife fed up of this answered : Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap. That ended the husbands witticisms.

A rather similar incident took place in a small village in Sweden.
A volunteer fire brigade team was trying to get down a cat that was
high up in a tree. After the work of several hours they managed to get the
animal down. The owner of the cat – an older lady – was was happy and
promised to serve the brave men a cup of coffee. The chief said,
thanks but well have to go back to the station. They got up in their
fire engines and drove away, running over the cat.

This wizened old man in sitting between two muscled, dark suited mafia types in the back of a big black limo.

The old man starts to lean to his left and the man pushes him back up straight. The old man starts to lean to his right and that man pushes him up straight.

The old man really looks annoyed. Who am I!

One on the men replies. Your *the man*, the godfather, the capo de capo!!

The old man responds. So what I say goes, right?

Yeah, boss, yeah, whatever you say goes.

The old man waves his arms in anger. So why the hell cant I drop a fart when I want to?!

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother."Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills.""I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her.""Ive got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald — the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton — the car is useless because I dont go anywhere because Im too old. But Robert — you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.
The driver says, Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60 perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you know that this car doesnt have cruise control.
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, Cant you please keep your mouth shut for once?
The wife smiles demurely and says, You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, Darn it, woman, cant you keep your mouth shut?
The officer frowns and says, And I notice that youre not wearing your seat belt, sir. Thats an automatic $75 fine.
The driver says, Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.
The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when youre driving.
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, WHY DONT YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, Does your husband always talk to you this way, Maam?
Only when hes been drinking.

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied I dont know, it all happened so fast.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.