Fission shmission, relax, Ill increase the water level after my coffee break.
Was that Open valve A and close valve B or was it the other way round?
This whole plant will be running under Win95 tomorrow.
HEY! Is smoke coming out of the core normal?
Who forgot to pay the water bill???
We got 12 seconds to WHAT???
Meet your new plan superintendent: Bozo the clown.
A leak? Cant you fix it with duct tape or something?
Oh yeah! 50 bucks says I can make it blow.
Its Russian technology.
Move over Three Mile Island – here we come!!!
Sniff, sniff … you smell that?
I used to work at Chernobyl.
All the way to the RIGHT, not LEFT you dummy!
Its your turn to wax the core.
How come all the big shots are leaving?
Is that a 60 minute film crew out there?
Is this part really necessary?
OF COURSE I went to high school. Didnt finish it, though.
Look at the good news: we are going to find out whether people actually glow in the dark.
Archive for August, 2019
Um, well….
Three prisoners attempt an escape from Alcatraz, but are caught
and must be punished.
Prison Guard: OK, the governor has prescribed punishment of three
lashes each, but you may have on your back the covering
of your choice. Jenkins, you first. What ya want on
your back?
Jenkins: Oil.
PG: OK, then. Slop it on. Good. Now… ONE!
Jenkins: AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!
PG: TWO!
Jenkins: Oh GOD! MERCY! MERCY!
PG: THREE!
Jenkins: AAAARRRghhhhh (faints)
PG: Next, you Baxter, what do you want on your back?
Baxter (extra tough macho type of guy): Nothing.
PG: Have it your way… ONE!
Baxter: Didnt feel it.
PG: TWO!
Baxter: Ha, ha, ha!
PG: THREE!
Baxter: No sweat.
PG: Finally you, Goldstein. What you want on your back?
Goldstein: Ill have Baxter.
(From an album of Jewish humour heard years ago.)
A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, I have some very bad news for you. Im afraid that youre afflicted with a fatal and incurable disease.
So the guy asks, Well isnt there ANYTHING I can do, doc?
Hmmm… maybe you should go to a spa and start taking daily mud baths. The doctor tells the patient.
Mud baths? Will that help me, doc?
Probably not… but at least youll get used to being covered in dirt!
There were 3 blondes who found a jeanie. He granted each of them a wish. The first wished she was 50% smarter – poof shes a BRUNETTE, the second wished she was 25% smarter – poof shes a REDHEAD, the third wished she was 50% dumber – poof shes a BLOND MAN.
Jeffory Dohmer asks Lorrena Bobbit one day, Are you gonna eat that?
What a woman says:
Cmon…This place is a mess! You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and youll have no clothes if we dont do laundry now!
What a man hears:
CMON….blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW!
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Bibi!
Bibi who?
Bibi gun!
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Maine!
Maine who?
Maine I come in now please!
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Ever wonder about people who are willing to get off their
ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to
the TV and change the channel manually?